Tuesday, October 1, 2013

The Dark Side

I have no time to be writing a post right now. I'm sitting in my friend's dorm trying to do homework. I have an essay due tomorrow, a paper on climate change to edit for a friend, a quiz to take online so I can be a signer for a club on campus, and I have ANOTHER midterm tomorrow. I have people that feel like they haven't seen me, and a possible relationship that is getting pushed to the furthest recesses of my life. My backpack is staring at me, my planner is mocking me. Everything seems like it could explode any minute. Not to mention that even writing this is giving me a huge headache!!!

This blog is really just serving the purpose of an outlet. Especially this post. It's annoying to read someone else's complainey thoughts, but in all honestly, sometimes it just needs to be said. College is hard. I'm trying to get into this master's program where I'll get my masters degree at the same time as my bachelors. To make that happen, I need all A's in my linguistics classes. So this test tomorrow... needless to say, it's important I do well.

I just got back my Spanish midterm today. Never have I been so happy to get a B. Yeah, that's right. Not a stellar grade at all, and yet it thrilled me. Mm, you think that's crazy, I got my astronomy midterm back, a perfect C. I have never gotten a C on a midterm and been so happy that I passed. This semester is kicking my ass, and I just keep signing up for more things.

Last week I auditioned for an improv group on campus. I did improv in high school and it gave me some amazing strategies for real life. I was quiet and shy, and suddenly I was able to make hilarious jokes out of no where. I even went on an improv trip to Chicago to study at IO for a week. It was a big deal! My teacher used to say he did improv in college, and I remember thinking that that would be the coolest thing in the world, but I was no where good enough.
That's the thing about college though, if you're not good at something, that door shuts in your face, you cry about it, but then you find something else you want to do. I tried the singing thing my freshman year. Door slammed right in my face when I couldn't remember the lyrics to the song I had planned to sing for auditions. When I tried to start my own yoga group, door slammed in my face when no one showed up. But guess what? I got on the Dean's List. I made friends in my classes and reconnected with people I hadn't had time to connect with before.
Then this year I planned on the improv door slamming on me, but instead it opened wide. I was accepted, one of two out of my group that auditioned. I was so surprised that I even asked if they mixed me up with someone else. I never considered myself funny. I think I'm good at supporting people on stage, livening up a scene, but adding the humor, never really something I did well. But at my first practice I was cracking everyone up! Goes to show that you just have to try your hand at everything before you know what you want.

So I'm sitting here thinking about improv, helping with yoga and meditation club, doing extra readings for my classics class, studying for linguistics, and trying to figure out how I'm going to travel in the future (I can't wait to get back out in the world). And the real kicker, instead of just DOING WHAT I NEED TO GET DONE, I'm writing a blog post. Wow, I am the WORST! Maybe I should go now...

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